[BE THE AIMLESS DOUCHEBAG.]

[pincerattack]

[You've been wandering for awhile! The Plains of Spite are indeed full of spite, in that you keep tripping in holes in the ground and almost landing right on your face. It's a good place to wander around, though, and to practice with your sickles a little. ...possibly also to yell at the sky because you hate everything, but then the big animal somebody said is called an alot of crankiness had made a weird noise right back in your face and gone back to chewing on grass.

Anybody out on the plains probably sees you standing there! Your sickles are not captchalogued because that alot looks really sketchy and you might need them on short notice, but you're not actively practicing right now.]

Comments

[ice_and_steel]

Doesn't your throat get tired or sore with all that yelling?

[pincerattack]

UNFORTUNATELY, MY THROAT IS JUST GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT SO MANY FUCKING THINGS IN THIS UNIVERSE NEED CASTIGATING.

[ice_and_steel]

....You could just light them on fire instead. Or electrocute them. Or freeze them.

[pincerattack]

BECAUSE I TOTALLY CARRY A FLAME-THROWING DEVICE, A PERSONAL ELECTRICITY-GENERATING DEFENSE APPARATUS, AND A FUCKING THERMAL HULL WITH ME EVERYWHERE I GO!

[bythehorns]

It is kind of, one of Karkat's powers, I think, being able, to yell at things, more than, you ever thought possible.

[pincerattack]

I'M PRETTY SURE MY RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE IS NOT SOME SHITTY MAGIC POWER.

[bythehorns]

Uh, I am, pretty sure, the alotbeast, is not a machine....

[ice_and_steel]

I'm not sure if that's an awesome power or not.

Hi, Tavros.

[bythehorns]

I think it is, pretty impressive.

Um, hello.

[cavedwellers]

GGRRRRRRNNNNGT.

[pincerattack]

[side-eye the thing]

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, ALOTBEAST?

[cavedwellers]

[paw irritably at grass, which is not as green as that in other pastures]

NRRRGN.

[pincerattack]

SERIOUSLY, HOW THE FUCK HAVE I EGREGIOUSLY OFFENDED YOU

UNLESS JUST ME EXISTING HAS DONE THAT! WHICH OKAY, FAIR ENOUGH!

[you grip your sickles a little harder, just in case]

[onlyhonournow]

[wow]

[reaching a hand out]

[cavedwellers]

GRRRRRN!

[hopping awkwardly up and down, that's a gesture that communicates clearly]

[onlyhonournow]

[um]

[kneels?]

[oneeyedfish]

[Hands in your pockets, you can't help but stop and observe the situation -- from a safe distance. Mainly, you're wondering if the alot might happen to be the local god. You're about due for finding one in this place.]

[It's sort of god-shaped. Isn't it?]

[onlyhonournow]

[gosh, you sure are tripping a lot. Do you need a hand? A giant robot hand?]

Are you all right?

[pincerattack]

I'M FINE, WHY THE FUCK WOULDN'T I BE ALL RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS FIELD FULL OF UNACCEPTABLE SCRUB VEGETATION AND MURDERHOLES?

[wait, the shitty robot is talking to you. MISTAKE.]

ARE YOU HERE TO CRUSH MORE INNOCENT DREAMS? BECAUSE SORRY, DAWG, I DON'T HAVE THOSE.

[onlyhonournow]

[still offering his hand out, but frowning]

... Pardon me?

[bythehorns]

[new thread after Karkat's Sweet Ride^TM? It sure looks that way.]

Wow, uh, I didn't know, you could ride, like that.

[pincerattack]

This alotbeast and I are best friends now. Together, we are going to rule the Plains of Spite and get rid of all this unacceptable scrub vegetation and all these stupid traps in the ground.

[bythehorns]

That is, really cool, Karkat.

[you pet the alotbeast. then you try communing with it!]

He seems, to like you, too.

[prankster_gambit]

[Karkat is riding a huge beast. It looks like something Indiana Jones would do, if he had access to an alot!

Your boyfriend's MANGRIT levels are off the charts!

You float alongside him.]

Wow, Karkat, you've made a friend!

[pincerattack]

[oh hey look, John is here to witness your moment of triumph! you shall make him a Prince of your new Kingdom of Spite.]

You want to help us conquer the plains and outlaw these stupid holes in the ground?