[BE THE AIMLESS DOUCHEBAG.]

[pincerattack]

[You've been wandering for awhile! The Plains of Spite are indeed full of spite, in that you keep tripping in holes in the ground and almost landing right on your face. It's a good place to wander around, though, and to practice with your sickles a little. ...possibly also to yell at the sky because you hate everything, but then the big animal somebody said is called an alot of crankiness had made a weird noise right back in your face and gone back to chewing on grass.

Anybody out on the plains probably sees you standing there! Your sickles are not captchalogued because that alot looks really sketchy and you might need them on short notice, but you're not actively practicing right now.]

Comments

[onlyhonournow]

...

... I beg your pardon?

[pincerattack]

LISTEN UP, YOU SENTIENT CIRCUIT BOARD, BECAUSE I AM ONLY EXPLAINING THE FUCKING MAGIC OF ROMANCE AS PRACTICED ON ALTERNIA ONCE.

THERE ARE FOUR QUADRANTS, INSTEAD OF JUST ONE KIND LIKE HUMANS HAVE. HUMAN ROMANCE IS STUPID, FORGET IT EXISTS. YOU'LL BE HAPPIER, IF ROBOTS CAN EVEN BE HAPPY. I DON'T KNOW, THE ONLY OTHER ONE I MET WAS REALLY FUCKING DEPRESSED UNTIL SHE RIPPED OUT HER HEART AND STARTED CONSENSUALLY BEATING THE SWEATY ASSHOLE. YOU KNOW WHAT, FORGET ABOUT THAT TOO, IT DOESN'T MATTER.

YOU PROBABLY ONLY WANT TO WORRY ABOUT THE TWO CONCILIATORY QUADRANTS, BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE TWO THAT DON'T INVOLVE REPRODUCTION. UNLESS YOU HAVE SOME AFTERMARKET PARTS I DO NOT EVER WANT TO HEAR A SINGLE WORD ABOUT, PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME THAT YOU HAVE THEM. THOSE ARE THE PALE QUADRANT, MOIRALLEGIANCE, AND THE ASHEN QUADRANT, AUSPISTICE. A MOIRALLEGIANCE-- WHICH IS WHAT TAVROS THOUGHT YOU WERE ANGLING FOR, YOU MASSIVE ASSHOLE-- IS BASICALLY WHERE YOU TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER, KEEP EACH OTHER FROM FLIPPING OUT, THAT KIND OF THING. YOU GO TO YOUR MOIRAIL WHEN YOU NEED TO CRY ABOUT STUPID FEELINGS AND THEY USUALLY DON'T TELL YOU HOW STUPID YOU ARE. OR IF THEY DO, IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. GAMZEE AND I ARE MOIRAILS, FOR AN ACTUAL EXAMPLE.

WHAT YOU JUST FUCKING PROPOSITIONED ME FOR IS AUSPISTICE. THAT'S NORMALLY GOT THREE PEOPLE, BUT IN THIS CASE I COUNT AS TWO BECAUSE YOU'RE ARBITRATING BETWEEN TWO OF ME, THE CURRENT ME AND THE PAST ME I'M RAGING ON. ONE PERSON MAKES SURE THE OTHER TWO DON'T KILL EACH OTHER OR FLIP INTO A KISMESSITUDE, WHICH IS ONE OF THE REPRODUCTIVE QUADRANTS AND THUS ONE I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT A CONCUPISCENT BEING. AND AGAIN, IF YOU ARE, DO NOT FUCKING TELL ME!

SO YOU BASICALLY JUST SAID KARKAT, I WANT TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND. WHICH IS REALLY BIZARRE BECAUSE THIS IS LIKE, THE FIRST OR SECOND TIME WE HAVE EVER SPOKEN, YOU CREEPER. IT'S ALSO BASICALLY WHAT YOU SAID TO TAVROS, IN A DIFFERENT CONTEXT, AND THEN TOOK BACK!

[onlyhonournow]

Oh.

I.

Apologise?

[pincerattack]

AS YOU SHOULD, YOU CULTURALLY INSENSITIVE BAG OF BULGES.

[onlyhonournow]

[good thing he was sitting, because that was a lot of information to process.]

S...sorry. That... wasn't my intention.

[pincerattack]

COULD HAVE FOOLED ME, WHAT WITH ALL YOUR BLATANT HITTING ON EVERYONE.

THEN AGAIN, I GUESS NOT EVERYONE CAN BE AN EXPERT ON ANALYZING ROMANCE.