[BE THE AIMLESS DOUCHEBAG.]

[pincerattack]

[You've been wandering for awhile! The Plains of Spite are indeed full of spite, in that you keep tripping in holes in the ground and almost landing right on your face. It's a good place to wander around, though, and to practice with your sickles a little. ...possibly also to yell at the sky because you hate everything, but then the big animal somebody said is called an alot of crankiness had made a weird noise right back in your face and gone back to chewing on grass.

Anybody out on the plains probably sees you standing there! Your sickles are not captchalogued because that alot looks really sketchy and you might need them on short notice, but you're not actively practicing right now.]

Comments

[ice_and_steel]

Doesn't your throat get tired or sore with all that yelling?

[pincerattack]

UNFORTUNATELY, MY THROAT IS JUST GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT SO MANY FUCKING THINGS IN THIS UNIVERSE NEED CASTIGATING.

[ice_and_steel]

....You could just light them on fire instead. Or electrocute them. Or freeze them.

[pincerattack]

BECAUSE I TOTALLY CARRY A FLAME-THROWING DEVICE, A PERSONAL ELECTRICITY-GENERATING DEFENSE APPARATUS, AND A FUCKING THERMAL HULL WITH ME EVERYWHERE I GO!

[ice_and_steel]

[She raises an eyebrow politely, and cups a flame in the palm of her hand. Yes, it is showing off, but if he's going to call her a witch she's going to act like one.]

Or you could ask for assistance. Or are you one of those people that feels that your genitalia aren't adequately represented unless you do everything by yourself? [She looks pointedly at his horns.]

[pincerattack]

[w-what the fuck WE DON'T NEED ANY SHITTY HIPSTER MAGIC HERE.]

OH NO NO NO, NO MORE SHITTY FUCKING WIZARDS! I MUST HAVE MADE A FUCKING MEMO ABOUT THAT. SOMEWHERE. SOMETIME. PAST ME IS AN EVEN BIGGER IDIOT THAN I THOUGHT IF I DIDN'T.

[you sort of follow her gaze, until you realize oh no she didn't]

WHAT KIND OF SHITTY FUCKING SPECIES EQUATES HORN SIZE WITH BULGE SIZE, THAT'S ONE OF THE STUPIDEST THINGS I'VE EVER HEARD. AND I KNOW SO MANY STUPID PEOPLE THE VERY THOUGHT OF COUNTING MAKES MY BRAIN WANT TO RUN AND HIDE. [still ouch, cheap shot bringing in the nubbins.]

[ice_and_steel]

I am not a shitty fucking wizard. I have neither intention of fucking you, nor bad magic skills. I am actually quite good at this; I was designed for it.

[It's kind of a relief to find someone here she doesn't feel bad about being an ice queen at. Everybody's so nice. Which is great, but also confusing. She was starting to think she fell into reverse world.]

Oh, everybody finds something to equate with dick size. Humans say it has something to do with the size of one's hands or feet.

[slow, sharp smile]

You do realize that your enthusiastic shouting about the matter really only proves my point, right?

[pincerattack]

ALL WIZARDS ARE INHERENTLY AWFUL, IT'S A FACT OF LIFE. I'M SHOCKED YOU AREN'T PRANCING AROUND IN A SCARF AND CAPE LIKE THE PRINCE OF GODDAMN HOPE, CONSIDERING I'M PRETTY SURE HE'S THE ONLY WIZARD WHO EXISTS IN MY UNIVERSE. IT WAS A REFLECTION ON YOUR STATE OF BEING IN THE UNIVERSE, NOT YOUR CONCUPISCENT HABITS OR YOUR SKILLS.

[twitch]

I HATE TO BE THE ONE TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT WE DON'T HAVE THE SAME DISGUSTING GENITALIA THAT HUMANS DO.

[ice_and_steel]

[She keeps a straight face, barely, as she shrugs her cape back, and reminds herself that casting ice spells on him would be rude]

Well, I would assume there were at least a few species-based differences.

I am frankly impressed your head does not actually explode from all this rage.

[Don't cast spells just to see what happens. Do not. You are a disciplined soldier.]

[pincerattack]

[stupid cape, it's unassailable proof of her witchery. ...and her douchebaggery. because seriously, who the fuck wears a cape?]

HEY, SOMETHING WE FINALLY AGREE ON! BECAUSE EVERY DAY I WAKE UP AND MY THINKPAN HAS NOT EXPLODED INTO TINY FUCKING PIECES FROM THE EVER-PRESENT HEADACHE I HAVE FROM HERDING IDIOTS WHILE THE UNIVERSE PLOTS AGAINST ME IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING SURPRISE TO ME!

[ice_and_steel]

[Awesome people wear capes, that's who. ....well, also Kefka, but he's the exception that proves the rule.]

I guess an ever-present headache would in fact make someone pretty cranky. You want help with that?

[bythehorns]

It is kind of, one of Karkat's powers, I think, being able, to yell at things, more than, you ever thought possible.

[pincerattack]

I'M PRETTY SURE MY RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE IS NOT SOME SHITTY MAGIC POWER.

[bythehorns]

Uh, I am, pretty sure, the alotbeast, is not a machine....

[pincerattack]

NO, THE MACHINE IS THE UNIVERSE. I'M NOT PISSED OFF AT THE ALOTBEAST ANYMORE.

[bythehorns]

Oh. Uh, sometimes, I am, a little slow, on metaphors, sorry.

[pincerattack]

OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

STOP THAT.

[bythehorns]

Sorry!

[pincerattack]

[okay, time to stop yelling, this is backfiring]

Argh, just... stop getting yourself down all the time. It's like you think you're me.

[bythehorns]

But, I actually, think you're pretty smart, and, a good leader, so....

[ice_and_steel]

I'm not sure if that's an awesome power or not.

Hi, Tavros.

[bythehorns]

I think it is, pretty impressive.

Um, hello.

[ice_and_steel]

It is impressive, yes.

How are you?

[bythehorns]

I am, pretty good, these days, I think.

[ice_and_steel]

Good. I'm glad.

Have you found anything around here where we could learn more about...where we are? I'm wondering what there is to do here, besides run around in caves or on plains. Mostly I wonder if there's magic in this place like there is where I come from. I'd be interested in finding more magicite.