[BE THE AIMLESS DOUCHEBAG.]

[pincerattack]

[You've been wandering for awhile! The Plains of Spite are indeed full of spite, in that you keep tripping in holes in the ground and almost landing right on your face. It's a good place to wander around, though, and to practice with your sickles a little. ...possibly also to yell at the sky because you hate everything, but then the big animal somebody said is called an alot of crankiness had made a weird noise right back in your face and gone back to chewing on grass.

Anybody out on the plains probably sees you standing there! Your sickles are not captchalogued because that alot looks really sketchy and you might need them on short notice, but you're not actively practicing right now.]

Comments

[pincerattack]

[hey now, extremely tasteful romance novels are not weird at all and you will fight people over that]

Drills-- no, we weren't old enough to get conscripted into the fleet yet. I was going to be a threshecutioner before, you know, our entire universe imploded and we were banished to an asteroid in the middle of paradox space.

[ice_and_steel]

[she blinks]

Do I even want to know what any of those words mean? Although I guess I have some experience with universes and explosions. That happened in my world as well.

[pincerattack]

Oh good fucking fuck I'm dealing with some low-tech human from a place without astrophysics.

AN ASTEROID IS A GIANT CHUNK OF BARREN, DEAD ROCK IN OUTER SPACE. PARADOX SPACE IS A HORRIBLE DEAD PLACE FULL OF EVIL MONSTER GODS FROM HELL. I'M ASSUMING YOU KNOW WHAT THE OTHER WORDS MEAN.

[ice_and_steel]

Yes, I do have a general working knowledge of the language, thank you. Your explanations are appreciated.

Given that your universe apparently doesn't have magic, I don't think I regret the lack of astrophysics in mine.

[pincerattack]

WE HAVE MAGIC. SORT OF. THERE'S THIS ONE GUY WHO HAS A SHITTY WAND AND A CAPE WHO KILLED ALL THE DENIZENS OF HIS WORLD AND ABSORBED SOME SHITTY MAGIC POWER FROM IT, BUT I MOSTLY TRY TO AVOID HIM. WHAT WE DON'T HAVE IS ANYTHING RESEMBLING THAT HEADACHE REMOVAL TECHNIQUE.

[ice_and_steel]

A wand? Whatever would he need a wand for?

I could...try to teach you. I was going to teach Tavros, but I don't have any Magicite, and I don't know if there's any to be found here.

[pincerattack]

UH, TO DO HIS SHITTY HIPSTER MAGIC WITH?

[this is more side-eyeing, yep. you are such a confusing human.]

Would I have to wear a stupid cape or a stupid scarf or use an unimaginably stupid wand?

[ice_and_steel]

[his eyes are like to stick that way if he keeps doing that, or at least that's what the woman who Gestahl first hired to teach her to read used to say.]

You don't have to use a wand. I don't. And capes are up to your own discretion. You can prance around naked with a crown of lilacs on your head or just wear trousers and a shirt, it doesn't matter.

[pincerattack]

What is it with you humans and people getting naked.

[ice_and_steel]

....It was a figure of speech. You seemed unduly concerned about the manner in which you'd have to be dressed. I was trying to make the point that it doesn't matter.

In any event, it's just skin. What does it matter?

[pincerattack]

[sputter]

BECAUSE BEING NAKED IN FRONT OF SOMEBODY IS A PRETTY DAMN BIG DECLARATION OF PITY AND TRUST, FOR ONE? I THOUGHT EVEN HUMANS GOT THAT.

[ice_and_steel]

I have heard getting naked described as an awful lot of things, but out of pity is not usually on the list of reasons. I hear pity tends to inhibit desire.

I mean certainly if you are getting naked with the intent of engaging in intercourse then yes that implies a certain level of trust, but there are other reasons, at least where I come from.

[pincerattack]

OH, FOR-- AM I GOING TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS TO EVERY HUMAN EVER?

PITY AND HATE CAN BE ROMANTIC EMOTIONS FOR TROLLS. THEY AREN'T ALWAYS, BUT THEY CAN BE. THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PITY ROMANCE THAT MIGHT INVOLVE TAKING YOUR CLOTHES OFF, AND ONLY ONE OF THEM INVOLVES PAILING, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. SO OF COURSE THERE ARE OTHER REASONS, BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE MY ANSWER.

I HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN THE LECTURE ABOUT HOW BLAH BLAH BLAH YOU DON'T PAIL PEOPLE YOU HATE AND OH MY GOD HOW COULD YOU EVER PITY SOMEONE YOU WERE ROMANTICALLY ATTRACTED TO. MULTIPLE TIMES. FROM MULTIPLE HUMANS, AND ALSO A ROBOT. I'M ABOUT TO MAKE A FUCKING VIDEO TO EXPLAIN IT SO I CAN JUST PLAY THAT EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS NOW.

[ice_and_steel]

....Drift asked you?

[she starts laughing]

I wish I'd heard that conversation.

[a little less mirthfully]

I don't quite understand wanting romance with someone you pity, but if you say it works for you, then I don't think I'm qualified to argue with that.