[BE THE AIMLESS DOUCHEBAG.]

[pincerattack]

[You've been wandering for awhile! The Plains of Spite are indeed full of spite, in that you keep tripping in holes in the ground and almost landing right on your face. It's a good place to wander around, though, and to practice with your sickles a little. ...possibly also to yell at the sky because you hate everything, but then the big animal somebody said is called an alot of crankiness had made a weird noise right back in your face and gone back to chewing on grass.

Anybody out on the plains probably sees you standing there! Your sickles are not captchalogued because that alot looks really sketchy and you might need them on short notice, but you're not actively practicing right now.]

Comments

[pincerattack]

YEAH, YOU'RE A REALLY FUCKING HELPFUL GUY, AREN'T YOU! LIKE YOU HELPED NITRAM INTO EMOTIONAL DISTRESS, THAT WAS TOTALLY FUCKING HELPFUL.

[onlyhonournow]

... [kneeling and leaning in, looking Karkat straight in the eyes]

I'm aware that I may have caused some... trouble for Tavros, and that's not something I enjoy. But I won't apologise for being honest with him, or how I feel.

[pincerattack]

And I won't apologize for looking out for him.

[onlyhonournow]

[smiling]

I don't want you to. But he's more capable than you might think.

[pincerattack]

...you don't have any fucking idea about the horrible, inadvisable relationship he couldn't seem to shake, do you. HE ACTUALLY HAS KIND OF PROVEN HIMSELF IN NEED OF SOMEONE AT HIS BACK, YES.

[onlyhonournow]

You're right. I don't have any idea. And I'm not trying to dissuade you from being concerned for him.

But I've made it clear that I'm always willing to be candid with him, and that he's always welcome to do the same.

[pincerattack]

Yeah, well, the last person who got candid with him is the reason he's half metal now. AND I'M GOING TO SHUT UP ABOUT THAT NOW BECAUSE THE DETAILS ARE HIS BUSINESS, BUT SERIOUSLY, YOU REALLY FUCKING UPSET HIM.

[onlyhonournow]

I know.

[pincerattack]

WHICH IS WHY I DON'T LIKE YOU. WHICH YOU PROBABLY ALSO KNOW.

[onlyhonournow]

That's fine.

[pincerattack]

I'M WATCHING YOU. TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T USE ANY ROBOT WILES,

[onlyhonournow]

Okay.

[pincerattack]

SDFJKDKLSFDS' ARRRRRRRRRRGH WILL YOU STOP GIVING ME ONE-WORD FUCKING AFFIRMATIVE ANSWERS FOR EVERYTHING

IT'S LIKE TRYING TO ARGUE WITH THE SUN

EXACTLY FUCKIGN LIKE IT

WHICH I KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE TRIED THIS BEFORE

[onlyhonournow]

... I don't want to argue with you.

[pincerattack]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

YOU ARE THE MOST FUCKING UNSATISFYING BEING OR OBJECT OR CONCEPT I HAVE EVER TRIED TO HAVE A GOOD SHOUTING MATCH WITH

SCREAMING MY HUSKTOP OUT OF GIVING ME ERROR MESSAGES WAS MORE PRODUCTIVE THAN THIS, AND IT DOESN'T HAVE A FUCKING MICROPHONE TO HEAR ME WITH

[onlyhonournow]

[. . .picking Karkat up by the scruff of his shirt]

[pincerattack]

[what the fuck is even happening this is actually kind of terrifying now this is a fucking huge robot]

PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!

[onlyhonournow]

[dangling him there between two giant fingers and leaning his face in real close, with a stern expression]

I said that I didn't want to argue with you.

[pincerattack]

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, FOR ME TO EXIST IS FOR ME TO ARGUE WITH EVERYTHING IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE.

TAKE IT UP WITH THE UNIVERSE IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT.

[onlyhonournow]

... [considers.]

[sets Karkat gently back down onto his alot seat.]

I'm working on that.

[pincerattack]

[flail of complete and utter confusion!]

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

[onlyhonournow]

It means there's more than one way to resist against something.

[pincerattack]

RESIST AGAINST WHAT. THE UNIVERSE? YEAH, TELL ME HOW THAT WORKS OUT FOR YOU.

[onlyhonournow]

[picking Karkat up again, smirking]

Pretty damn good, so far.

[pincerattack]

HOW THE FUCK IS SWINGING ME AROUND LIKE THE TARGET IN A WRIGGLER'S PARTY GAME STICKING IT TO THE UNIVERSE?