[BE THE AIMLESS DOUCHEBAG.]

[pincerattack]

[You've been wandering for awhile! The Plains of Spite are indeed full of spite, in that you keep tripping in holes in the ground and almost landing right on your face. It's a good place to wander around, though, and to practice with your sickles a little. ...possibly also to yell at the sky because you hate everything, but then the big animal somebody said is called an alot of crankiness had made a weird noise right back in your face and gone back to chewing on grass.

Anybody out on the plains probably sees you standing there! Your sickles are not captchalogued because that alot looks really sketchy and you might need them on short notice, but you're not actively practicing right now.]

Comments

[cavedwellers]

>AGGRESS
 ABSTAIN
 ABJURE
 ABSCOND

RRRRRRRNT!

[lumbering charge!]

[pincerattack]

[youth roll! you take no damage! now it's your turn to charge in.]

[cavedwellers]

 AGGRESS
>ABSTAIN
 ABJURE
 ABSCOND

[???]

[pincerattack]

[okay, this is totally fucking embarrassing but you don't care, nobody's here but the alot and the bucketwitch anyway. you are totally going to jump on this thing's back. because it is the kind of ridiculous video game move you can get behind.]

[cavedwellers]

[MASH Δ to activate special move GET UP ON THE ALOT'S BACK]

[pincerattack]

[YOU ARE DOING THIS. YOU ARE MAKING THE TRIANGLE HAPPEN.]

[cavedwellers]

[that is one ACROBATIC PIROUETTE off the motherfucking handle, sir threshecutioner, where by MOTHERFUCKING HANDLE we actually mean PLAINS OF SPITE. You vault straight over the alot's appallingly drab horns and land on its shaggy back, racking up 300 BONUS POINTS in the process. The alot BELLOWS and takes off at TOP SPEED across the plain: sadly, this is more of a TRUNDLE than a GALLOP.]

[pincerattack]

[HERO MODE ACTIVATED.

...fucking hell, you are badass. and now riding an alotbeast you have no control over across the plain, but that's okay! it's not going very fast! also, you are clearly the sentient creature here, and you have proven it.]

[cavedwellers]

NRRG NRRRG!

[thing that is EVEN WORSE than the stupid plain of subpar grass, or being yelled at by some uppity two-legs: being RIDDEN by the yelling thing. somewhere on this plain, there must be an appropriate target for all of this AGGRAVATION.]

RRRRRRRRNNNNN

[pincerattack]

WOULD YOU STOP YELLING LIKE THAT ALREADY

[you are, in fact, aware of the irony here. certain people you know would be proud.]

[cavedwellers]

RRRRRRRNNNNNN!!!!!

[pincerattack]

DO YOU WANT TO MAKE THIS A SCREAMING CONTEST? BECAUSE I CAN DO THIS ALL GOGDAMN DAY!

[cavedwellers]

NRR NRR NRRRRR!

[maybe scraping him off on one of the trees at the edge of the Nasty Forest would work. better hurry in that direction!]

[pincerattack]

[oh no this thing doesn't, you are the sentient being here and you are going to DOMESTICATE THIS FUCKER. maybe grabbing it by the horns will convince it to run in a direction more to your liking.]

[cavedwellers]

RRRRRRRRN.

[:((((( oh no time to turn left]

[pincerattack]

WAS THAT SO FUCKING HARD.

[aw yes, time to ride your sweet new ride around the plains of spite for awhile. this is completely fucking awesome.]

[cavedwellers]

RRN RRN RRN!

[we are galumphing the hell out of this plain right now]

[pincerattack]

[since it seems you and the alotbeast have come to an understanding, you stop yelling at it! sure, it still sounds kind of cranky, but it's not like you don't understand that. you let go of one of the beast's horns and pap it on the head.]

[cavedwellers]

rrrrrrrrn.

[oh look. the forest was unnecessary after all.]

[pincerattack]

[shoosh alot, only scritchings now.]

[cavedwellers]

[-.-] rrrrrrr~

[slowing to a meander. let's meander around the field.]

[pincerattack]

[meandering is good, too! you can sit up and look around majestically, as if this plain is your kingdom. as it is not called the Plain of Crabs and Shouting, though, it really isn't. SHUT UP, PAST ME, YOU CAN PRETEND IF YOU WANT TO.]

I get it, this place is pretty fucking annoying, isn't it?

[pettins. good alot, best friend.]

[cavedwellers]

nnrr-RRRnnn.

[yep. kindred spirit, right here.]