ITP: inappropriate orifices

[bythehorns]

[In the one of the more livable regions of the cave this afternoon (evening? who even knows, in here), Tavros is examining a troll-sized tub of green slime that the fuk dwarves have just finished making for him. It's a deep, pearly pink, and the opening at the top of it looks like...well, let's be polite and say it looks like a Georgia O'Keeffe painting. The fuk dwarves have ideas about what holes in things should look like (nsfw).]

Wow, that's, a lot fancier, than I was expecting, with the decorative folds, and everything....

((pester Tavros about his obscene home furnishings! or pester the fuk dwarves for inappropriate boons of your own. everybody needs more decorative genitals in their lives, right?))

Comments

[bythehorns]

Hello, uh, new human I have not seen before.

I am, getting a recuperacoon, which is, a place to sleep.

[glorious]

[s t a r e]

It's certainly an interesting place to rest.

I apologize; my name is Van Grants. And you would be...?

[bythehorns]

I am, Tavros Nitram, and I am, a troll, which is why, I need a recuperacoon, which, from what I have seen, humans do not use.

[glorious]

I'm afraid we don't have much use for -- [gesturing to it] -- anything like this. A dry bed suits us well enough.

[bythehorns]

That seemed like, a very strange thing, when we first started, watching humans.

[glorious]

I'd imagine there's a great deal of differences between humans and trolls.

Have you been watching us for long?

[bythehorns]

I don't think, we've ever watched you, exactly. Just, a few humans in particular.

[glorious]

I see.

If there are other humans here it may be wise to find a sort of screen to keep recuperacoon out of sight. It's generally considered rude to be...resting in plain view.

[bythehorns]

Oh, uh, that is a thing about humans that, I did not know.

[glorious]

It isn't something that we commonly spoken about. We can find a temporary solution for the time being.

[will be removing his tabard and hanging it up over here-- not that won't work. perhaps over there?...hm, no that won't do.]

[...tossing the tabard over the folds then.]

[bythehorns]

Oh, uh, is that why, human sleeping platforms have, cloth draped on them? I am learning a lot, about humans, today.

[glorious]

Ah, yes. That's precisely why.

If you have any other questions about humans, your more than welcome to bring them to me.

[bythehorns]

Thank you, uh, I guess, that could be handy, since, there are seem to be, several humans here.

[glorious]

We're certainly a...prolific species.

[bythehorns]

How many planets, did you have?

[glorious]

...Planets?

[bythehorns]

I don't actually remember, the exact number, but Alternia's navy conquered, a couple of thousand.

[glorious]

[! ! !]

[glorious]

...That's an, impressive achievement.

[bythehorns]

Karkat could tell you, more than I could, or Eridan, I guess, but Eridan, isn't here.

[glorious]

Karkat...I assume he's a friend of yours?

[bythehorns]

[nods]

He's the leader, of our group, sort of by accident, by which I mean, he's not at the top of the hemospectrum, but he got us all to work together, sort of.

[glorious]

When I find him, I'll be certain to ask him about Alternia's navy.

Do you mind clarifying what you mean when you say 'hemospectrum'?

[bythehorns]

It is a thing trolls have, to decide who is important, but uh, it doesn't matter here, so I think maybe, I would rather, not talk about it.

[glorious]

...All right. I won't press the matter.

[glancing around the cave] I don't suppose you have an idea of where I might find a bed for myself?