ITP: inappropriate orifices

[bythehorns]

[In the one of the more livable regions of the cave this afternoon (evening? who even knows, in here), Tavros is examining a troll-sized tub of green slime that the fuk dwarves have just finished making for him. It's a deep, pearly pink, and the opening at the top of it looks like...well, let's be polite and say it looks like a Georgia O'Keeffe painting. The fuk dwarves have ideas about what holes in things should look like (nsfw).]

Wow, that's, a lot fancier, than I was expecting, with the decorative folds, and everything....

((pester Tavros about his obscene home furnishings! or pester the fuk dwarves for inappropriate boons of your own. everybody needs more decorative genitals in their lives, right?))

Comments

[bythehorns]

Oh, uh, that is a thing about humans that, I did not know.

[glorious]

It isn't something that we commonly spoken about. We can find a temporary solution for the time being.

[will be removing his tabard and hanging it up over here-- not that won't work. perhaps over there?...hm, no that won't do.]

[...tossing the tabard over the folds then.]

[bythehorns]

Oh, uh, is that why, human sleeping platforms have, cloth draped on them? I am learning a lot, about humans, today.

[glorious]

Ah, yes. That's precisely why.

If you have any other questions about humans, your more than welcome to bring them to me.

[bythehorns]

Thank you, uh, I guess, that could be handy, since, there are seem to be, several humans here.

[glorious]

We're certainly a...prolific species.

[bythehorns]

How many planets, did you have?

[glorious]

...Planets?

[bythehorns]

I don't actually remember, the exact number, but Alternia's navy conquered, a couple of thousand.

[glorious]

[! ! !]

[glorious]

...That's an, impressive achievement.

[bythehorns]

Karkat could tell you, more than I could, or Eridan, I guess, but Eridan, isn't here.

[glorious]

Karkat...I assume he's a friend of yours?

[bythehorns]

[nods]

He's the leader, of our group, sort of by accident, by which I mean, he's not at the top of the hemospectrum, but he got us all to work together, sort of.

[glorious]

When I find him, I'll be certain to ask him about Alternia's navy.

Do you mind clarifying what you mean when you say 'hemospectrum'?

[bythehorns]

It is a thing trolls have, to decide who is important, but uh, it doesn't matter here, so I think maybe, I would rather, not talk about it.

[glorious]

...All right. I won't press the matter.

[glancing around the cave] I don't suppose you have an idea of where I might find a bed for myself?

[bythehorns]

You could, ask the dwarves, since, I think, what they do here, is just, make things.

[glorious]

[...eyeing the recuperacoon.]

And they made...that for you?

[bythehorns]

And it's, a lot fancier, than the one I had, back home.

[glorious]

"Fancier"...?

What would a...more common one look like, exactly?

[bythehorns]

The one I had, back in my hive, was just round, with no carving shapes, around the opening.

...And also, the opening was pretty small, so my horns, would get stuck.

[pincerattack]

[oh fuck no we are not getting into hemospectrum bullshit right now because humans asking about that might start asking awkward questions about where the trolls here rank on that and what if they don't like 'fuck you I choose not identify on the hemospectrum can you not see my gray shirt here' as an answer?]

HOW ABOUT I GO BACK AND MAKE A MEMO IN THE PAST

A MEMO THAT SAYS WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE MOTHERFUCKING HEMOSPECTRUM RIGHT NOW SINCE IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH GETTING OUT OF HERE, AND ALSO BECAUSE NONE OF THE FUCKING USELESS MORONS WHO CARES ABOUT IT IS EVEN HERE

CAN WE DO THAT, MAYBE

[bythehorns]

[criiiiiinge]

Okay, um, sorry, I won't, uh, say anything about it, to anyone.

Sorry.

[glorious]

[...Presumably still within hearing range?]

My apologies. I won't be asking about it again.