OMG VD!

[cavedwellers]

[Gosh you guys, there must be a holiday on! One of the bigger, more well-lit caves has been decked out for a PARTY, with heart-shaped BALLOONS and also red and white STREAMERS decking the stalactites and shit. There are BUCKETS filled with LITTLE CANDY HEARTS, and there is a FOUNTAIN featuring a rosy-cheeked CUPID who is PEEING PINK LEMONADE into a basin. Also ther are CUPS in case you couldn't tell the LEMONADE was for DRINKING.

Also, everything is HEAVILY SPIKED WITH APHRODISIACS. Eating or drinking the party favors will make you want to MAKE OUT with anyone who gets IN STRIKING DISTANCE. Have fun with that!]

Comments

[lifestudies]

Well, you are a strange little monster yoursmmmph, nnnn--!

[kissing! So this is what kissing is like. It's pointier than advertised. but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It only takes a brief false start to get an angle that more or less works, and then there's heat and sloppy wetness and the scrape of sharp teeth.]

[pincerattack]

[it's opposite day up in here, because this is less pointy than the sum total of kissing you have done in the past! and also involves less someone trying to lick your eyeballs because they 'look delicious, Karkles.' ...also less calling you of stupid names like that, come to think of it! well, until John shows up, because you seem to vaguely recall that humans are fucking weird about quadrants and he'll probably get upset that you're hate-making out with somebody. funny how you find it hard to care about that right now, though, or really anything except awww yeah kissin'. ...how the hell much of that candy did you just eat?]

[lifestudies]

[escalating kiss violence when partner has more appropriate weaponry at hand: bad idea. fucks given: none. biting Karkat's lip: go, with bonus throaty noise that was probably an accident but does, in fact, seem to sum up this situation nicely.]

[pincerattack]

[escalating: probably a stupid idea when you're capable of ripping a chunk right out of the other guy's face and he's not a troll so he can't do the same! which is actually a coherent enough thought that you can pull away for a second and assess the situation.]

The fuck did you put in that stupid bucket candy, human?

[he's still pretty distracting. why are you conversing instead of kissing, again? you can't really remember why that was a good idea.]

[lifestudies]

Put in it? Nothing. If I were going to poison you, it wouldn't do this. And certainly not to me as well. That would be amateurish.

[Kiss angry little monster again as a distraction from new mission Hands Up His Shirt Now.]

[pincerattack]

[o-okay this is definitely new territory, the human has his hands under your clothes and you don't even know him. and you don't even care! SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT CANDY. -- oh fuck, fingers on the scars from your grub legs, you are definitely making some kind of really, really undignified noise and starting to dig your claws into the human's shoulders. you're trying to be careful, because humans are squishy!]

[lifestudies]

[the prickle of claws there maybe ought to be a warning? but it feels good, too, the pain of it and also the knowing he can't help reacting to this. these little matched round scars must be sensitive. kiss deeper, trace their edges, feeling the texture difference.]

[pincerattack]

[humans are soft, and it's kind of weird! you've been sort of passive because, well, you don't exactly want to shred him, and you've got so many sharp edges you might as well be made of knives (albeit fewer knives than most trolls, so at least that's something). but if he's going to push it then you're going to bite at him like proper blackrom makeouts call for! carefully, though. very carefully.]

[lifestudies]

[this is becoming an extremely valuable lesson in why people think this is worth their time. biting back, scraping with teeth to try to balance out the natural disadvantage, and digging nails into the edges of those scars.]

[pincerattack]

[and you realize sort of belatedly that it's distinctly unfair that this human is touching you like that-- nnnngh-- but your hands are just sort of on his shoulders. the problem being that fuckin humans, how do they work?, because you're pretty damn sure humans never had grublegs and they don't have horns and jegus where are you even supposed to put your hands? you settle for clawing at his back in a way that is hopefully not untoward, because you sort of lack the bravery to go under any of his clothes at the moment.]

[lifestudies]

Hnnngh--

[back arching, almost-not-quite too much sensation there, but mostly that just sets nerves on fire and makes this more interesting in the pants department, and the other thing about the arched-back thing is that it's a great prelude to grinding hips together when the pants department starts to declare its intentions.]

[pincerattack]

[okay, keep your hands where they are, evidently this is working! assuming that humans have the same kind of anatomy in vaguely the same places, and oh fuck there's a scary though, what if they don't have a bulge and a nook and all the other parts of their anatomy in the right places? what if this is something completely unrelated and you're reading into this-- okay, no, you two are making the fuck out, you are probably not misinterpreting this. which is good, because your body is so fucking cool with this terrifying new territory in interpersonal relations.]

[lifestudies]

[trying to eat his face appears to be a good tactic! keeping that up, then, and also just trying to pull him close as much as possible because definitely it's starting to feel like some friction below the belt would only improve matters. grind against makeout partner y/y?

YYYYYYY.]

[pincerattack]

[this is a little awkward because he's so much taller than you, but you make it work. because oh fuck that's nice, that's fucking fantastic is what it is. it's so fantastic that you sort of miss his mouth and end up kissing him somewhere in the vicinity of the chin-- but you're just going to roll with that and move down to his neck and mind the teeth, humans probably have a jugular vein or seven under that weird skin of theirs and this isn't that kind of hate.]

[lifestudies]

[well, that at least kicks the self-preservation instinct back on a little bit, because those certainly are sharp teeth. only a little bit, though: taking one hand out from under the monster's shirt and getting a good grip on his hair instead, so it wouldn't be too hard to pull him away if that became necessary.

...actually fuck it, this part with standing up instead of being able to roll around humping each other like weasels isn't ideal. let's get down on the floor. pulling in that direction.]

[pincerattack]

[you are all about getting down on the floor, yep. that sounds like an awesome place to be, especially because that gives you more leverage to grind against this terribly interesting human. and you're pretty sure you just fucking whimpered, which is a terribly undignified thing to do in this kind of situation but you can't help it; your bulge is definitely interested enough to start unsheathing itself.]

[lifestudies]

[oh yes. that is working better. and provoking noises is certainly a good sign, isn't it? and between the noises and the grinding there is definitely some urgency happening down at pants level. ...this is definitely a thing that has never been covered in mission briefings, though. perhaps it will be possible to improvise once the little monster demonstrates what he expects to happen from here.]

[pincerattack]

[well, you aren't the best authority on where to go from here considering this is most definitely the furthest you've ever gone before! you know the theory, which is that you are to the point in things where one would traditionally go for the bulge. and he does seem to have something equivalent there, so you go for it and bring your hand down to where you think it probably should be. even out of your right mind you're not quite brave enough to venture under his pants yet, but you're making baby steps.]

[lifestudies]

[yes. good. that is exactly where this ought to be going. making some encouraging noises and pushing into that hand, because fabric muffles sensation and this is a sensation that doesn't really benefit from muffling. harder, nnngh.

also, since this seems to be a competitive sport, shoving a hand down between them to palm the front of hispants and try to find his penis.]

[pincerattack]

[your bulge is definitely squirming under the attention, trying to grasp at the stimulation but evidently not smart enough to realize your jeans are in the way. which makes perfect sense, because reproductive ogans are not sentient, you fucking idiot. you... actually get bolder with your own hand, because you can only feel one bulge and that's actually incredibly fucking strange.]

[lifestudies]

[he's getting more insistent, that's something, but really--]

Nnnf. I'll take my pants off if you will.

[pincerattack]

[...challenge accepted, you are totally undoing the zip-toothed clothing fastener and shoving your pants down past your hips as fast as you can, both because it is pretty rapidly getting uncomfortable to be in them and because you are not going to be a cluckbeast about this and lose.]

[lifestudies]

[ah! that was a good move! it seemed like it would be. Cutting thigh wrap off because stopping to unwind it sounds like way too much hassle right now. Shoving pants down. Looking over at--]

What is wrong with your penis?

[pincerattack]

[STAAAAARE.]

WHAT THE FUCK IS A PENIS, AND AND HOW CAN THERE BE ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT WHEN I CLEARLY DO NOT HAVE SUCH A STUPID SOUNDING THING?

ALSO, WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR BULGE.

[you can't even be offended that he sounds so horrified, because clearly he is terribly deformed and doesn't know any better.]

[lifestudies]

[cannot stop staring at it. at them. whatever. also cannot entirely help wondering if Orochimaru would have one like this. some like this. whatever.]

A penis is what normal males have between their legs. You seem to have a nest of worms instead.