ITP: inappropriate orifices

[bythehorns]

[In the one of the more livable regions of the cave this afternoon (evening? who even knows, in here), Tavros is examining a troll-sized tub of green slime that the fuk dwarves have just finished making for him. It's a deep, pearly pink, and the opening at the top of it looks like...well, let's be polite and say it looks like a Georgia O'Keeffe painting. The fuk dwarves have ideas about what holes in things should look like (nsfw).]

Wow, that's, a lot fancier, than I was expecting, with the decorative folds, and everything....

((pester Tavros about his obscene home furnishings! or pester the fuk dwarves for inappropriate boons of your own. everybody needs more decorative genitals in their lives, right?))

Comments

[onlyhonournow]

Having at some point, in his endless travels of the galaxy, explored and become enamoured with a particular group of islands, Drift tilts his head as he recognises that distinctive poetic beat. Not wanting to startle her, he kneels, moving as slowly as he can...

...and snaps his mouth shut as he finds himself lacking in the appropriate metric for conveying his greetings. What a winner.

[sei_what]

Long nights sitting up waiting for the right kind of rustle have, perhaps, given Sei a bit of an edge. She hears that snap, oh yes she does. She draws certain conclusions from its abruptness and from the careful silence that follows.

Carefully, she adjusts her posture: modest, good, hems showing off all the layers: good, oh god are her eyebrows, like, COMPLETELY wiped off right now? shitshitshit

Oh hell, just cover it all with the fan...

"Good day," is what she actually says. "The dark falls on us / but nothing can hide the shame / of the unshelled snail."

[onlyhonournow]

"Uh," Drift manages with a sheepish smile, "Hello. Please don't be startled. I like your poetry." He cringes and casts a sidelong glance, embarrassed. That was definitely the wrong meter.

"There's beauty to be found... even in things that aren't beautiful."

. . . well, he tried.

[sei_what]

Sei turns around to sneak a peek over the fan at her caller, and it nearly slips out of her hand.

oh sweet summer peaches

what IS that

is it flirting

Her mouth works, tentative and dry. She's got to say SOMETHING, she can't very well claim that she's observing an abstinence or something now...

"Yu...your armor," she stammers, the fan brought straight back up as though to protect her from this Serious Wierdness. "...indoors? Though this, ah, may not be indoors?"

it's going to do terrible things any second

army men do that

please please let it be just an army man

[onlyhonournow]

... well, it's an army man, for sure, but it's also a very large metal army man. Possibly around ten times her height. But he's sitting, very proper-like, so that's reassuring, right? His giant swords are all respectably tucked away and everything. Totally safe.

"I'm sorry," He offers, bringing up both of his very large metal hands in a placating gesture, "Should I leave? I can leave."

Maybe today should have been a car day, poetry be damned.

[sei_what]

and it TOTALLY said she wasn't beautiful

it's the size of a house and she's not beautiful

sure she's old but

stupid grey hair
stupid eyebrows
STUPID

Okay. Okay. Deep breath, suitable proverb. She's got it. Fanning swiftly, she recites the one about two carriages passing, the one with the nice metaphor on "anxious horses". That's a good one. Austere, but not accusing. She recites it in a nice calm voice.

She peeps over the fan again. Any second, seriously, she's just going to throw up or fall over. Both.

[onlyhonournow]

it's not that she's not beautiful

maybe? ... what's it to a robot, anyway?

anyway, it was a poem, geez, it means like, wistful longing or ... something. appreciate all things? yes.

Let's go with that. It's a good (?) thing Drift isn't the most perceptive of robots, as he's picked up her discomfort but not quite the particular reason for it. He remains where he is, stiff and awkward, looking rather concerned.

"... Did I say something wrong? It's all right if you want me to go."

[sei_what]

"Nnnn-o, no. You can, ah, stay."

Men just didn't get poems sometimes; her husband had been like that too. Well, sometimes. She supposed it was well enough things hadn't worked out.

That thought emboldened her. The army man clearly already thought she was some sort of mountain hag--what was there to lose? She might as well have a hag's crassness.

"...how do you know about my poems? I would have remembered you at court."

[onlyhonournow]

He sits in silence for a short while, half in admiration and half because he just doesn't know what to say. Realising that staring is rude and quite possibly extremely unnerving coming from a giant robot, he bows his head.

"I've... read some of them. In a book. I'm not sure I understand them, entirely, but they're very nice. I hope I didn't offend you."

He looks up again, still speaking tentatively, "I think we've both travelled a long way. I apologise again if I startled you; that was not my intention."