OMG VD!

[cavedwellers]

[Gosh you guys, there must be a holiday on! One of the bigger, more well-lit caves has been decked out for a PARTY, with heart-shaped BALLOONS and also red and white STREAMERS decking the stalactites and shit. There are BUCKETS filled with LITTLE CANDY HEARTS, and there is a FOUNTAIN featuring a rosy-cheeked CUPID who is PEEING PINK LEMONADE into a basin. Also ther are CUPS in case you couldn't tell the LEMONADE was for DRINKING.

Also, everything is HEAVILY SPIKED WITH APHRODISIACS. Eating or drinking the party favors will make you want to MAKE OUT with anyone who gets IN STRIKING DISTANCE. Have fun with that!]

Comments

[ice_and_steel]

[confused blink] No, you haven't offended me at all.

...Did I offend you?

[onlyhonournow]

... No. Not at all. [a silence, as he tries to figure out what the right thing to say in this situation is. Then, super awkwardly:]

Where should I take you?

[ice_and_steel]

[another awkward pause. how unusual--oh wait opposite of that thing.]

I...don't know.

[onlyhonournow]

...

Considering our... the... environmental options, would you like to stay here?

[onlyhonournow]

With me, I mean.

[onlyhonournow]

I guess, to be precise, you'd technically be--

[hologram looks extremely flustered, then disappears.]

[ice_and_steel]

--um. Drift? I--I didn't mean to insult you.

I would be fine with staying here with you. Or, um, going somewhere. Um.

[her reflection in the windshield appears to be blushing like no tomorrow.]

[onlyhonournow]

[SILENCE.]





... I'd like that. Very much.

[ice_and_steel]

Oh. That's...good.

[fidgets with the cuffs of her jacket]

[onlyhonournow]

[rolling up the window, and the driver's seat snaps forward]

It's probably a bit more comfortable in the back.

[this is weird. so weird.]

[ice_and_steel]

Oh. I suppose that makes logical sense.

[gets the seat belt unstrapped after only one or two false starts of tugging on it instead of pushing the button, and then wriggles through the gap into the back]

[onlyhonournow]

[another awkward silence, then he laughs]

I've never been ridden before.

[. . . who decided it was a good idea to let the both of us alone together with minimal guidance?]

[ice_and_steel]

[well, that one at least is a double entendre she gets]

....Er....did you...mean that to sound that way?

[this is that thing called benefit of the doubt, right?]

[onlyhonournow]

[nope ENTIRELY CLUELESS.]

Sound what way?

[ice_and_steel]

[is it only slang where I come from?]

Um, where I come from, that's slang for activities of a very intimate nature. I suppose your world doesn't have that phrasing.

[onlyhonournow]

[embarrassed beep.]

[ice_and_steel]

[equally embarrassed blushing]

I...apologize.

[onlyhonournow]

[how do we get more and more awkward?]

No, I apologise. That... should have occurred to me.

[ice_and_steel]

[it's like an icicle of awkward!]

I should not have assumed your intentions were untoward. Since you have been behaving in the opposite manner.

[she is pretty sure that's what the one diplomacy manual she ever read said you should do in situations where you have accidentally made assumptions?]

[onlyhonournow]

[silence for a moment or so, before he laughs good-naturedly]

Considering today, I think "intent" is really a tricky thing.

[ice_and_steel]

[laughing is good. probably. right? she is going with that interpretation.]

I...suppose there is that.

[military discipline is usually good for something, like telling yourself you are not feeling the effects of drugs. it doesn't make you not feel it. but you can tell yourself it's less than it is.]

[that is what she is telling herself and meanwhile she is absent-mindedly petting the (fabric? leather?) on the seat.]

[onlyhonournow]

[how does one react to having their insides petted? what is the appropriate protocol for these sorts of situations?]

... Either way, you'd be the first. [okay, now that tone was definitely cocky.]

[ice_and_steel]

[mouth opens. mouth closes. mouth opens again]

I--

[is--is this flirting? because it sounds like things Edgar says. So it must be. Right?]

[she makes an awkward strangled noise, because she cannot reconcile flirting with robot that outmasses me by two orders of magnitude, and the drugs have worn off enough for those two antithetical ideas to collide, although not enough for her to stop petting because she hasn't noticed that yet.]

....how does this even work?

[onlyhonournow]

[chuckling]

It doesn't, really. That was cruel of me, I apologise.

[ice_and_steel]

Oh. All right. I was perplexed.

[but if it doesn't work then why is he bothering to talk to her? perhaps he has some plan for which her skills are useful.]