OMG VD!

[cavedwellers]

[Gosh you guys, there must be a holiday on! One of the bigger, more well-lit caves has been decked out for a PARTY, with heart-shaped BALLOONS and also red and white STREAMERS decking the stalactites and shit. There are BUCKETS filled with LITTLE CANDY HEARTS, and there is a FOUNTAIN featuring a rosy-cheeked CUPID who is PEEING PINK LEMONADE into a basin. Also ther are CUPS in case you couldn't tell the LEMONADE was for DRINKING.

Also, everything is HEAVILY SPIKED WITH APHRODISIACS. Eating or drinking the party favors will make you want to MAKE OUT with anyone who gets IN STRIKING DISTANCE. Have fun with that!]

Comments

[onlyhonournow]

[how does one react to having their insides petted? what is the appropriate protocol for these sorts of situations?]

... Either way, you'd be the first. [okay, now that tone was definitely cocky.]

[ice_and_steel]

[mouth opens. mouth closes. mouth opens again]

I--

[is--is this flirting? because it sounds like things Edgar says. So it must be. Right?]

[she makes an awkward strangled noise, because she cannot reconcile flirting with robot that outmasses me by two orders of magnitude, and the drugs have worn off enough for those two antithetical ideas to collide, although not enough for her to stop petting because she hasn't noticed that yet.]

....how does this even work?

[onlyhonournow]

[chuckling]

It doesn't, really. That was cruel of me, I apologise.

[ice_and_steel]

Oh. All right. I was perplexed.

[but if it doesn't work then why is he bothering to talk to her? perhaps he has some plan for which her skills are useful.]

[onlyhonournow]

[has her tone sharpened enough that he'd pick up on it?]

... I didn't mean anything by it. I realise that it didn't quite help the situation.

[ice_and_steel]

I--no, it's okay. I am...not good with people. or robots, apparently. My soldiers called me the ice queen--when they thought I couldn't hear--because they said that's what my brain and heart were made out of.

[onlyhonournow]

[rematerialises his hologram, so it's now perched on the back of the front seat he pulled forwards earlier with its feet pressed up against the rim of the backseat, giving the illusion that he's pushing up against it to remain sitting]

But that's not true.

[ice_and_steel]

[she tilts her head]

It could be. I don't...really act or seem to think like other people do, is it such a stretch to think that I was engineered such that parts of me specifically don't work right?

[onlyhonournow]

[he smiles, in an attempt to reassure her. HOLOGRAMS YOU CAN'T TOUCH ARE REASSURING, RIGHT?]

Would someone heartless spend so long wondering if they were?

[ice_and_steel]

[the most reassuring.]

I...don't know. It occurs to me that those who designed me were sufficiently paranoid, and sufficiently cruel, that they might have put this in as a failsafe: given too much time to think, to force me to become distracted by whether I have emotions or merely the simulacra thereof.

[onlyhonournow]

[the hologram leans in, eyebrows raised with a lopsided, affectionate grin]

Celes, please forgive me for being so forward, but that's ridiculous.

[ice_and_steel]

[she frowns a little, as she is not entirely accustomed to being called ridiculous] it is?

[onlyhonournow]

If you're convinced that that's the case, why wouldn't they have instilled something productive to them? The last I checked, doubt isn't a quality most want in a soldier. Something about being mindlessly obedient.

[ice_and_steel]

[thoughtful expression]

That is one possibility. The other is that they did not intend for me to have sufficient leisure to consider the question.

The difficulty with an intelligent and ambitious person, after all, is that sooner or later that person starts looking above her to see how much higher she can rise. If I had designed me, I would want to make very sure that looking never started.

[onlyhonournow]

[the hologram sits up straight again, and crosses its arms pensively]

You said it yourself. You're intelligent and ambitious. So where are you lacking?

I have a different question. If you could design you, what would you do, for yourself?

[ice_and_steel]

That depends on what I was designing me for. If I wanted a loyal underling, I would not have given myself ambition; that leads to a desire to replace those above oneself, particularly if they're inferior in terms of capability.

...If I had been designing me for the purposes the Emperor did, I would also have neglected to instill a conscience, and would have kept me far away from anyone who might attempt to teach me one. Practically speaking, it only gets in the way when one wants an obedient soldier. Obedience above all. Assuming one is breeding a general to lead one's armies.

...Perhaps it's a good thing I didn't design me.

[onlyhonournow]

[the hologram has a look on his face like it's trying to hold in laughter]

Well, what would you want to be designing yourself for?

[ice_and_steel]

I--I don't even know what I'd want to design myself for. Why would I even want to design another human being? It's messy and complicated.

....What's funny?

[onlyhonournow]

Sorry. [HE'S REALLY CUTE DON'T BE MAD]

I'm just asking, what do you want out of yourself? Because you can have it. That's all that I mean.

[ice_and_steel]

I don't know what I want out of myself. All I know how to do is be a soldier, I don't even know what else is out there.

[onlyhonournow]

But you want to find out, right?

[ice_and_steel]

....Yes.

[silent for a moment]

How did you figure this out? I mean...presumably you have free will...but...

[onlyhonournow]

[the hologram rubs the back of his head and flashes a half-grimace, half-smile]

... Someone beat it into me.

[ice_and_steel]

[there is obviously a moment when she is wondering how that works from a physics standpoint, and then her eyes widen as she comes to the conclusion that there must be more like him out there, and then she shakes her head slightly]

I think that might go poorly if you tried it with me. I'm somewhat squishier than you are. But I'll try. To learn, I mean.

[onlyhonournow]

[grinning]

I don't think that's necessary, as you're a lot less stubborn than I am, for one. For another, I think I'd sustain some pretty serious damage if I tried, and I would deserve it.