Queen Elizabeth Wrestles a Whale, the Animated Series

[e_regina]

[It's the Nasty Forest! It's dark and grotty here and there's bears and foxes and whales and such. It's a lovely day and there's squirrels fistfighting with birds and everything and there is also Queen Elizabeth, the first one, who is standing next to a picnic basket. She looks cross. Her ruff? ENORMOUS. It's so majestic that it pokes up above the treetops a little bit.]

MY BELOVED PEOPLE

That doesn't do anything, which makes her angry. That usually does something, when she says that.

OI

Still nothin'.

I'M NOT HAVING A BLOODY PICNIC BY MYSELF

Oh for fuck's sake. She huffs down in the middle of her skirt, which could harbor two cars and a cow, and gets stuck into one of the teacakes. There's brandy too, she'll probably start on that later.

Comments

[lifestudies]

[Dwarves, right. Filing that way for future reference. But more importantly, curious now!]

You use a sword? I would not have thought you capable of wielding one in robes like that.

[e_regina]

PISS IT, she replies daintily. I'M THE QUEEN

And queens all have magic powers of dressing and swording, right? Right.

SO LET'S GET A SWORD AND YOUR THING AND THEN WE'LL KNIGHT YOU

BOLLOCKS TO PICKNICKING WE'LL NEED A PARTY

[lifestudies]

[parties are occasions for smiling, yes? that sounds right. definitely sounds right. smiling, then. it's a good chance to practice.]

If all you need is a sword, I do have one.