ITP: inappropriate orifices

[bythehorns]

[In the one of the more livable regions of the cave this afternoon (evening? who even knows, in here), Tavros is examining a troll-sized tub of green slime that the fuk dwarves have just finished making for him. It's a deep, pearly pink, and the opening at the top of it looks like...well, let's be polite and say it looks like a Georgia O'Keeffe painting. The fuk dwarves have ideas about what holes in things should look like (nsfw).]

Wow, that's, a lot fancier, than I was expecting, with the decorative folds, and everything....

((pester Tavros about his obscene home furnishings! or pester the fuk dwarves for inappropriate boons of your own. everybody needs more decorative genitals in their lives, right?))

Comments

[glorious]

[...eyeing the recuperacoon.]

And they made...that for you?

[sei_what]

"Tavros." That's an odd name. She turns it over in her mouth and checks it for syllables it might make a good resonance with. It seems auspicious enough.

"I'm called Shonagon," she says. It wouldn't be appropriate to give a demon the name of her family so that his bigger, fiercer parents could follow the name back to their souls. "Little Tavros can be Shonagon's friend and Shonagon will only ever ask one question about the, ah, the re...recooperatu...I'm sorry, that's a very foreign word."

[pincerattack]

NO, GAMZEE, I DO NOT WANT A MOTHERFUCKING PIE

I LITERALLY CANNOT THINK OF ANYTHING I WOULD LESS LIKE TO SHOVE DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE AT THIS VERY MOMENT

[at this point, Karkat just appears to be a very tired, cranky, overstressed little troll. D: ]

[onlyhonournow]

You sound like you're speaking from experience.

[bythehorns]

[can probably get hold of one of your fingers in both hands, and does so, gravely]

Oh, that's good, that you are friends. I almost asked that, but then I thought, what if people thought, any troll here, was my friend, when -- actually, the other trolls here, are pretty nice, but I know some trolls, that definitely, are not my friends.

[faygoandpie]

[pulls Karkat closer, paps his little head]

whoa there, motherfucker, ain't no one gonna shove anything down your protein chute. You need to be all taking a nap though 'cause bro, I think your head is going to pop right the fuck off if you don't calm the fuck down.

[bythehorns]

And it's, a lot fancier, than the one I had, back home.

[wingedjustice]

That's a shame. In a place like this, I think we cal all benefit from a little friendship.

[bythehorns]

That is, a lot like the things, that Drift says to me. You are both, really nice robots, I think.

[pincerattack]

[argh don't you think for a second that this is going to work you stupid high clown, he has work to do and who is going to get us all back if you start shooshpapping him into uselessness]

I slept for a whole hour a couple of days ago! I don't need a fucking nap, I need to be the leader.

[he tries to growl, but it really sounds kind of pathetic.]

[wingedjustice]

Really? Glad to hear it.

[sei_what]

Sei turns around to sneak a peek over the fan at her caller, and it nearly slips out of her hand.

oh sweet summer peaches

what IS that

is it flirting

Her mouth works, tentative and dry. She's got to say SOMETHING, she can't very well claim that she's observing an abstinence or something now...

"Yu...your armor," she stammers, the fan brought straight back up as though to protect her from this Serious Wierdness. "...indoors? Though this, ah, may not be indoors?"

it's going to do terrible things any second

army men do that

please please let it be just an army man

[glorious]

It's mere intuition, nothing more.

[faygoandpie]

[shooosh, no leadering here, only sleep]

[paps head, shooshes, and pulls him in a limp armed hug]

Shush your mouth, little bro, you're the motherfucking leader even when you're asleep. No worries, I'll make sure no one does anything while you close your lookstubs and catch all them motherfucking fluffbeasts.

[pets head]

I bet Tavbro will let you use his special motherfucking recuperacoon.

[bythehorns]

"That's, really nice of you, Shonagon, so, thank you," you say. You have never had so many friends! This is a really nice cave. "And, I don't mind, if you can't say, recuperacoon, so, don't worry, about that. What was, your question?"

[onlyhonournow]

... well, it's an army man, for sure, but it's also a very large metal army man. Possibly around ten times her height. But he's sitting, very proper-like, so that's reassuring, right? His giant swords are all respectably tucked away and everything. Totally safe.

"I'm sorry," He offers, bringing up both of his very large metal hands in a placating gesture, "Should I leave? I can leave."

Maybe today should have been a car day, poetry be damned.

[sei_what]

and it TOTALLY said she wasn't beautiful

it's the size of a house and she's not beautiful

sure she's old but

stupid grey hair
stupid eyebrows
STUPID

Okay. Okay. Deep breath, suitable proverb. She's got it. Fanning swiftly, she recites the one about two carriages passing, the one with the nice metaphor on "anxious horses". That's a good one. Austere, but not accusing. She recites it in a nice calm voice.

She peeps over the fan again. Any second, seriously, she's just going to throw up or fall over. Both.

[bythehorns]

Did you, uh, just get here?

[pincerattack]

[sleep is for people with no responsibilities! what if Terezi and Vriska kill each other? what if something important happens? also, sleep is where the horrorterrors live. :/ still, the shooshpapping is doing is job, for all Karkat is trying to resist it. he's not growling anymore, at least!]

[quietly, against Gamzee's shoulder] There are no fluffbeasts, they're horrorterrors. And I don't like the color of his stupid recuperacoon.

[now you're just WHINING, Karkat. are you sure you're two whole sweeps old?]

[wingedjustice]

Just recently.

[sei_what]

Sei walks forward just a little--or knees, rather, it's all the same--and collects him, decorously, into a hug that's mostly sleeves. He feels small, smaller than he looks. She nearly gets a horn in the ear and this seems somehow impossibly charming.

Children. Poor thing, here alone. It's not right.

A bit mistily, she asks: "Can you tell me where to get one in a different shape?"

[bythehorns]

You may be in danger of being lost in a big pile of fancy cloth. This is far from the worst thing that has happened to you, even if it is a touch alarming. The Shonagon human smells very different from the other ones you have met so far -- there are a lot of smells here to make sense of! You try not to get distracted by that, because she asked you a question.

"You want, a human sleeping platform, right? The kind that is, all flat?" You are proud of your knowledge of human culture. "I think, the dwarves could probably make one, like that also, since, I had to tell them, how a recuperacoon goes."

[sei_what]

Oh, for two fans. Three, actually, so she can cover her face AND her ears. And a third hand to do it.

...whatever, clearly this shouting has scrambled her brain a bit.

"All the cicadas," she chides gently, "have stilled their wings for the night / leaving only this one/ how splendidly fierce it is / how it echoes in silence."

And then she coughs. Significantly. Maybe that was a little too direct and overbearing, but jeez, that guy is LOUD.

[faygoandpie]

[Being Karkat's moirail sure the fuck is hard work but Gamzee doesn't mind one damn bit. Curling an arm around Karkat's waist, Gamzee starts walking him to the recuperacoon. He thought about jut picking him up - he may not be STRONG but he's motherfucking strong enough - but decides that, moirail or not, Karkat might just rip off his shame globes for that.]

Well little bro, it's a good thing you're going to be asleep! That color's not going to be bothering you in a sec.

[onlyhonournow]

it's not that she's not beautiful

maybe? ... what's it to a robot, anyway?

anyway, it was a poem, geez, it means like, wistful longing or ... something. appreciate all things? yes.

Let's go with that. It's a good (?) thing Drift isn't the most perceptive of robots, as he's picked up her discomfort but not quite the particular reason for it. He remains where he is, stiff and awkward, looking rather concerned.

"... Did I say something wrong? It's all right if you want me to go."