TREASURE

[cavedwellers]

You are so, so sure there's treasure in the cave. Just a little bit further on than your light reaches. Juuuuust a little further.

No, further.

Go on.

This is completely safe.

Comments

[rightbrainiac]

[Wait, what's that? Oh, good, it's just the Bat Shot, which he doesn't remember bringing but could definitely use right now. He grabs it out of the air and turns on the flash-- since he doesn't really remember how he got here, he doesn't know why he didn't think to bring a flashlight in the first place.

Oh, that looks like basalt! Maybe this cave is a lava tube, which would mean that it's probably too recent for any dinosaurs to have ever been here. Shoutarou will appreciate that fact. There might still be a Gaia Memory, though. Better be careful.]

[galaxyhearts]

[His heart leaps into his throat when the Bat Shot catches Philip--or Philip catches it--in what looks like a cave. So he's alive, still here, still safe... for the moment. He rushes over as quickly as he can, wondering what could have gotten into Philip's head this time. Briefly, he pauses to read the sign outside the cave... treasure? He heaves a breath and goes in after his partner.]

Oi, Philip! What are you doing here? Don't just trust handwritten signs telling you there's treasure inside!

[rightbrainiac]

[Oh, there's Shoutarou. That must be how Bat Shot got here, then. What's that about a sign? He doesn't remember any sign.]

What sign? I have no need for treasure, and if I did I could just look up where it was. I don't actually remember leaving the office, but I was distracted by the volcanic formations after I got here.

[galaxyhearts]

[His brow furrows. Philip doesn't remember how he got here? That's distressing...]

You didn't run into any shady characters today, did you? No one came into the office while I was out getting us more coffee and typewriter paper?

[rightbrainiac]

No, no one came to the office. I was rewiring the toaster and then I... wound up here? I must have left the office or I wouldn't be here, but I don't think I left the office.

[This is... really distressing all of a sudden! He does not like gaps in his memory or getting kidnapped or both, for obvious reasons!]

[galaxyhearts]

[Rewiring the toaster... why is he even surprised? That the toaster was perfectly good at its job, and now it's---it's--]

Philip, could you have built a teleporter out of the toaster?

[It's the least frightening reason for the sudden disappearance he can think of...]

[rightbrainiac]

Don't be asinine, Shoutarou. Teleportation is impossible except on the quantum level, and that's only for infor...mation....

I am definitely building myself a teleporter when we get home. But not out of the toaster, that is completely impossible.

[galaxyhearts]

[Oh great, now he's gone and given Philip an idea. Who knew which of their electronic device was in danger now?]

Hey, wait! You don't have to do that; what's wrong with just walking places?

[He sighs, already acknowledging there is probably no dissuading him at this point.]

...At least spare my typewriter.

[rightbrainiac]

That would be categorically impossible, anyway. Your typewriter has no electronic parts.

[ :D ]

Anyway, I was improving the toaster's efficiency. It keeps burning one side of the bread and leaving the other one uncooked.

[galaxyhearts]

[Oh, that's... Actually helpful! What's the catch?]

Ahh, well. That's true. It worked well enough for toasting bagels, but being able to toast bread in it will be an improvement. You're amazing, Philip.

[rightbrainiac]

[Let's be honest, the catch is that the toaster is probably even more broken than before. RIP toaster.]

Basic electrical repairs are hardly amazing. What is amazing is how you somehow ended up in a place where you assume I must have teleported. How did you follow me? How long have I been gone?

[galaxyhearts]

[You're making him blush.]

Oh. No, I just sent the Bat Shot to scout ahead and it found you in a cave, so I followed it. It's just a thing any hard-boiled detective would have done when his partner turned up missing. You weren't gone for long, I don't think... I noticed you weren't there when I got back from shopping and got worried.

[rightbrainiac]

[you just keep telling yourself that this is a totally normal thing to do when your work partner steps out of the office, Shoutarou, aibou knows the truth]

Who would want to kidnap me now that Museum is gone? Besides Foundation X and the NEVER, I mean. They seem to have moved on to easier plans than kidnapping me.

[galaxyhearts]

Ah, is that so? What if they came up with a better plan to capture you, or--or what if you have even more diabolical relatives that want to step in to steal you now that Sonozaki Ryubee is out of the way?

[He shakes his head decisively.]

No, I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen.

[...It's hard to look cool when his lip is trembling.]

[rightbrainiac]

[gently because shhhh it ok]

Shoutarou. I read my book, remember? I don't have any diabolical relatives waiting to steal me.

[oh no why are you so endearing when you're wibbly and half-boiled]

I know you won't.