OMG VD!

[cavedwellers]

[Gosh you guys, there must be a holiday on! One of the bigger, more well-lit caves has been decked out for a PARTY, with heart-shaped BALLOONS and also red and white STREAMERS decking the stalactites and shit. There are BUCKETS filled with LITTLE CANDY HEARTS, and there is a FOUNTAIN featuring a rosy-cheeked CUPID who is PEEING PINK LEMONADE into a basin. Also ther are CUPS in case you couldn't tell the LEMONADE was for DRINKING.

Also, everything is HEAVILY SPIKED WITH APHRODISIACS. Eating or drinking the party favors will make you want to MAKE OUT with anyone who gets IN STRIKING DISTANCE. Have fun with that!]

Comments

[bythehorns]

They've been veerrrrrrrnnnnnfg!

[you sort of thought you were prepared for people to be friendly and touchy with you by now, but oh, that's still sudden and she has very, very nice hands. you go a little wobbly and maybe lean on her some.]

Hi, um, hello, hi.

[sei_what]

Why doesn't she have her own little demon baby with adorable horns, why. Why doesn't she have a darling little squidgy thing that loves her. Why can't she take this one back with her and show him off to the court and put him in little yellow-green Chamberlain robes and watch him trot around in processions and THIS IS STUPID

"Tavros," she says, all solemn, all pettings and cuddles and pulling closer to her lap, "you'll let old Shonagon be your auntie, won't you? Even though she's a terrible mountain hag?"

[bythehorns]

[you are nuzzling the fancy lady, because it feels so nice and she keeps touching you and her clothes have such fascinating textures! you wonder if this is why Kanaya likes nice dresses so much.]

I don't think, you are terrible, or, a hag, though I guess, maybe, you could still be, from the mountains.

[you rub the curve of one horn against her shoulder, sonice]

[sei_what]

<3 Hornsmooch! <3

"Terrible mountain hag," she insists, clearly delighted. She dips into the bucket at her feet for the last sweet in it and holds it up teasingly in front of Tavros's nose.

"You have to empty my bucket so I can go fill it up again," she coos. "Open your mouth."

[bythehorns]

[you are STUNNED SPEECHLESS at this kind of dirty talk. you have never heard anything to compare. if you were human you might think you needed A DIFFERENT ADULT, but since you are a troll you do at least know that would only MAKE THINGS WORSE. you simply stare at the shockingly forward human, and if your MOUTH IS OPEN that is clearly the result of SURPRISE.]

[sei_what]

*poonk!* In it goes!

And it's only a jelly bean after all. A little pink one. A bubblegum-flavored one, because what the hell is bubble gum flavor and why does it taste a little bit like the bucket, she doesn't even know but kids will eat anything.

"A magpie in spring/the surface of the ocean/a young man's stomach," she jokes happily. "What is this holiday, at any rate?"

[bythehorns]

[you chew on the gel confection automatically, even though it sticks to your teeth a bit. it's amazing how sweet this human candy is. you try very hard not to think about where it came from, and fail almost utterly.]

Um, I think, it is, for celebrating, romance? The human kind, not, any of, the troll kinds, probably.

[you wonder if you can get away with petting her sleeves. it's such nice fabric. you give it a try.]

[sei_what]

SHE HAS THE ABSOLUTE BEST IDEA

Tavros likes her sleeves, and well he should, because they ARE nice, and they ARE coordinated perfectly.

THEY WILL LOOK SO CUTE ON HIM

She makes an undignified little happy sound and pops to her feet, shucking the whole heavy layered mass of hitoe off one shoulder and then the other. She hoists them up, and spreads them out invitingly.

"For you!" she says. Her arms are wobbling already; this is the heaviest lifting she's done for years. But it'll be worth it!

[bythehorns]

Wow, um, thank you, that is, very nice of you, I think, not even Kanaya has, such nice dresses, and she is, the prettiest troll, that I know.

[you captchalogue the OUTLANDISH DRESS.]

[sei_what]

what

"What...did you just do?"

Your eyes seem to be broken; your clothes are gone and you have no idea what that fucked-up narrative abstraction was even supposed to represent because video games happened when you were dead as shit. You notice you are referring to yourself in the second person, and stop doing that.

"They were...for wearing..."