crankycave | obligatory hot springs episode

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obligatory hot springs episode

[what the hell, the brochures said nothing about a hot spring! but WHO CARES it'll be fun and there's pretty much enough light to see by in this part of the caves. Also there is still no lifeguard on duty, but there are little bat-eared monkey things hopping around the rocks so probably there's nothing too predatory in the water. And it's all steaming and warm -- if you're a lifeform that enjoys warm water, anyway, you're in for a treat! Almost certainly nothing could go wrong here. Just keep an eye on your valuables; those little buggers have clever paws.]

((Mingle post go! Tag each other, have fun.))

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[silly human, swimming is for seadwellers! between the horrible things that tend to lurk in the water on Alternia and your tendency to never leave your hive, you don't really have much experience with that kind of thing. but you are going to look like a complete wriggler in front of everyone if you come out and say that, so you do the brave thing and take your shoes off. ...nothing else, though, because what the hell you are not stripping down in front of all these strangers.]

I'll take your word for it, I guess.

[it's probably not as brave as you make it out to be that you're dipping a toe in there, because Gamzee and Tavros are already in the water so obviously it's not acid or hot enough to cook a troll or anything like that. it is actually sort of pleasant, though! so you do the even braver thing and roll your jeans up to your knees, sit down on the edge, and put your feet in.]

There, I'm in. Happy?

Haha, no way! How can you even have a splash war on the edge like this?

[you decide it's totally worth the embarrassment and insults Karkat's definitely going to make and strip off your hoodie and shirt before rolling up your pants legs. You definitely can't be taking anything off before the waist, that seems ungentlemanly somehow!]

[you wade in about knee high and turn to grin at him.]

Come ooooon, Karkat, you're not afraid are you?

[you are not going to rise to the bait. you are not going to rise to the bait. you are not going to rise to the bait.]

I'm just fine right here.

[if you're at all good at reading body language? he is totally afraid.]

[you squat in the water, cupping your hands beneath the surface]

Are you sure? You don't look fine. You look kind of angry. Like you totally wish you could go in the water but you're kind of nervous about it. But that's okay, Karkat!

[you heave upward, sending a pretty spectacular splash towards him!]

The water can come to you!

[how does he do that? seriously?]

I'm not nervous! I'm--

[annnnnd then you take WATER TO THE FACE.]

WHAT THE HELL!

[you adopt the most innocent of expressions]

What?

I know what you're trying to do! You're trying to get me to follow you out there! You think that if I get mad enough, I'm going to run out there after you for revenge!

[it is getting pretty uncomfortable wearing a sweater over here in all the steam, but you are... not really fond of the idea of taking it off, you really aren't.]

[okay, maybe keeping your pants on wasn't the best idea; they're bunching in pretty uncomfortable ways]

[you duck further in the water and slip them off before throwing them over to wear your hoodie was]

I would never do that! Jeeez, what do you take me for, anyway! If you're scared of the water, you are totally welcome to stay onshore.

[w-what the hell just happened, did he just take off his pants and throw them? now this ablution pit trap is a den of thiefbeasts, nonsense, and depravity. you are blushing pretty hard, you can feel it.]

I'm not! I just-- I've never done this before, okay? You stay away from the water on Alternia unless you want a seadweller to kill your lusus! I just. Need a few minutes, okay?

Okay! I won't go far without you, okay?

[you wade forward to where the water is a bit deeper and splash for a bit before seeing something shiny on the floor. It's probably just a rock or something but you feel the need to investigate! You dive under.]

[yep, just a rock. it sure is pretty though!]

[oh, fuck it, it's too hot over here. you take off your sweater and set it down next to your shoes. and this does feel a lot better! even if, uh, you do feel distinctly nervous about it.]

J-John?

[is going underwater normal for humans? oh gog, this is distressing.]

[you break surface and inspect the rock. there doesn't seem to be anything special about it except for the fact that it's red. oh well.]

Hey Karkat, look, it's almost the same color as your bl-

[you trail off because Karkat to off his sweater!]

Hey, you don't have nipples!

[WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM WHY WOULD HE EVEN YELL SOMETHING LIKE THAT. you are too stunned to do much besides stare at him like you're going to cry, which of course you are not because that would be stupid and you're not a grub who cries whenever something bad happens. YOU'RE NOT. it is finally enough to get you into the water and to march over where he is, though! even though you sort of lose your footing at the last second and have to catch him by the shoulders to keep from falling down.

...which is just as well, because you were going to take him by the gogdamn shoulders and shake him, anyway!]

Why would you say that?

wha-I don't know, it was the first thing that came to mind!

[wow, he got really close really fast and you are suddenly kind of nervous about that!]

[you want to say it's not a big deal but you're pretty sure that will make him even angrier so instead-]

I have nipples!

[you yell it loud enough that it actually kind of echos and okay, you weren't expecting that but that's okay!]

See! Nipples are bad anyway, they're like a huge weakness so you don't have to worry about not having any! Besides, Gamzee and Tavros are totally shirtless over there so anyone with eyes can see trolls don't have them!

[you're not entirely sure if there's anyone here who doesn't have eyes but you're not going to say anything about that]

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT. I don't know what these stupid things you're talking about are! I meant the other thing you said!

What?

[hissed. very quietly.]

My blood color is my culling-worthy mutation that not all the trolls here know about.

[you slap your hands over your mouth and lean in closer]

oh my god I completely forgot! Karkat I am so sorry.

[you glance over at Tavros and Gamzee who look....weeell, a little preoccupied but still]

do you think they heard? I'll protect you if they did!

I don't think they did, no. Just don't yell it next time.

[and now that the rush of terror and rage is over you realize that you are standing out in the water on slippery rocks and oh jegus.]

I know, I'm sorry!

[Karkat's look a little...uhm. You put your hands on his shoulders.]

Are you okay? I mean, aside from the whole, uh, slip up that just happened.

[now that you're out here, no, you're really not okay, this is freaky. breathe, Karkat, nobody else is flipping out about this! you manage to stay calm except for hanging onto John a little tighter, and even then you're careful with the claws.]

I'm fine.

...how deep does this get?

I wouldn't think it would go deep since these things are for relaxing....but this looks like a natural one so I don't know.

Oooh, we should go find out!

[that is not what you should do at all! actually, you kind of want to sit at the side, because you think maybe if you lean back and let the water work for awhile you might get rid of the tension headache that's been throbbing up the back of your neck for the past three weeks. but you're pretty much used to it and John will probably insinuate you are a cluckbeast again if you back out now.]

Fine, I guess. [see icon and keywords]

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obligatory hot springs episode

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