ice_and_steel (
ice_and_steel) wrote in
crankycave2012-01-27 10:01 am
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Murphy's Law Strikes Again
[On the Plains of Spite, there is plenty of room to pit yourself against whatever is chasing you down. Celes has been doing this for nearly an hour, sending herself on sprint drills followed by sets of push-ups as close to the lake as she can manage without (probably) having to draw her sword. She finishes a sprint and pauses to heal the ankle she just strained.]
[A shadow falls over her and she looks up warily, to see something alarmingly like a tentacle hovering over her.]
"Fuck."
[She draws her sword]
[A shadow falls over her and she looks up warily, to see something alarmingly like a tentacle hovering over her.]
"Fuck."
[She draws her sword]
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... I don't know him, but I don't think he expected more from you than you could give. Everyone makes mistakes, especially when it's difficult to see the truth of what's going on.
And everyone deserves a second chance.
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Yeah. When you grow up surrounded by something, it's hard to see that it's fucked up.
[tips head] I thought I had mine, but then I wound up here. Maybe that's another kind of second chance.
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[boy my lap is really interesting. especially the back of my hands. so interesting.]
I don't think that you can run out of second chances. At least, that's what I hope.
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[that lake is interesting--did I just see a shadow--false alarm. Damn.]
It would be alarming indeed to think I have already used up all of mine. Atonement is a difficult business.
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... I'm not sure that something like that is possible. I don't think any amount of will could ever change the past. But it's possible to change the future.
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How do you change the future, when you're here [waves her shield-hand vaguely to indicate the plains and general environs] instead of where you wronged...whomever you wronged?
[words what are they]
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... and I'm afraid I don't have the answer to that.
[exhaling, half in amusement and half in some sort of uncomfortable understanding]
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I knew someone who relied entirely on fate to decide everything. He came with me--with us--to fight the greatest military power in the world on the strength of a coin toss. It seems chaotic to me--but i wouldn't be who I am if my life had been otherwise, I guess.
[Humans expect physical contact when they talk like this, don't they? That's what Edgar said, but. Well. Edgar. Do robots expect that?]
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I don't know about fate either, but being able to believe in something--anything--is an incredibly powerful thing.
[if she's moving closer, he's picked up on it but hasn't expressed anything but slight, resigned sheepishness which may as well be his default expression anyway]
Celes...?
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[she is sitting awkwardly, like she cannot figure out which way she is supposed to move. Because in fact she is very unsure.]
[very quietly] I always believed in the Empire, to the point that I never questioned my orders, but now I'm not sure what to believe in.
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... I willingly fought and killed innocents and soldiers alike in a war I thought would bring me justice. Vengeance. Meaning.
Because I believed that I was worth nothing more than that to anyone who saw me, but I was wrong.
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[oh. Oh fuck was I seriously that obvious. I'm a general, not some attention-starved twit. This is all the treasure hunter's fault. All of it.]
My Emperor sent me to slaughter a city for no better reason than that he desired it--and I did it, for no better reason than that I was ordered to. Bred for it.
[oh. I guess robots do the touching thing.]
[rests her hand on the ground next to his, not quite touching yet.]
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[... laughing quietly] My commanding officer had me imprisoned for my insubordination. I fought my way out. Then even those I thought accepted me as who I thought I was didn't want me.
[pausing, as if he's wondering if the next bit's all right to say out loud] ... But Wing found me.
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[slightly sad expression] The Emperor imprisoned me as a traitor and ordered my execution; a resistance force rescued me, somewhat unintentionally, I think. It was...very awkward.
Is Wing your mentor, that you spoke of before?
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... I'm sorry. That must have been... difficult to bear.
[glancing down at her with an affectionate expression after another awkward pause, and smiling] Yes. ... he believed in me, not because he was unaware of what I had done, but what I was capable of doing from then on.
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[a pause as she tries to figure out how to politely express this]
I am glad you had someone who believed in you.
[fffff soldiers do not talk like this]
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There may be more of those someones than you realise.
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[looking perplexed]
Maybe it is just that we have...marked similarities, but you seem more willing to forgive than most I've met.
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I'm... Your comrades remained with you, regardless. That must mean something.
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They kept me because I'm good in a fight and could provide intel on their enemy. None of them trusted me. There's a difference between a useful tool and a trusted friend. Or even an acquaintance.
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I suppose there's that.
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I'm sorry--I didn't mean to, um, upset you.
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No. You didn't, really.
But I think that giving someone a chance works both ways.
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