[fuck, how does he just pop out of nowhere like that? it's like he's got some sixth sense or weird ability-- nah. you're just unlucky. or lucky. now, deep breath!]

I.

Oh, fuck. I MAY HAVE JUST SHOOSHPAPPED YOUR MATESPRIT IN AN INCREDIBLY PALE MANNER, BECAUSE I AM A HORRIBLE CHEATER AND HE NEEDED A MOIRAIL AND I HAVE TO ADMIT I'D DO IT AGAIN BECAUSE HE STILL REALLY NEEDS ONE BUT I STILL TOTALLY HAVE A HUGE DIAMOND FOR YOU AND THIS IS EVEN MORE AWKWARD THAN MOST CONVERSATIONS WE HAVE.

Please don't freak out.