I WOULD JUST LIKE TO PRETEND THAT NONE OF THE COLOSSALLY STUPID HOPES THAT I MAY HAVE HARBORED EVER EXISTED, AND ALSO THAT THIS CONVERSATION NEVER HAPPENED BECAUSE HOW COULD I BE FUCKING MORONIC ENOUGH TO DO THE RELATIONSHIP EQUIVALENT OF STANDING UP AND SCREAMING COME AND GET ME, MOTHERFUCKER, I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOUR LIGHTNING UP AT THE SKY?